A Letter of Concern

Dear Joe Shmoe and Jane Doe,

I am writing to to you today to let you know why your decision to steal from us was bad. No, I'm not talking about the moral implications that will doom your pathetic wretched soul to a fiery inferno (Hell, Hades, lower world, underworld, the bottomless pit, brimstone, et al). I'm talking about the socioeconomic factors if you will.

Remember that time you bought a delicious cake from us? You ate 3/4 of it, and then returned it to the store because it was "bad"?
Or that time when you went over to the baby formula and piled it into your cart?
How about when "bought" an item at another store and returned it to us, because you know we don't check receipts?

You guessed it, you were stealing.

How about that time you bought a book, and brought it home, read it, and returned it the next day?
Do you have any recollection of that time you bought a book, then brought it to your car. After which you came back into the store with just the receipt and got a copy of the same book to return?

You say you are unaware of the return policy. You pocket items that don't rightfully belong to you. You short change us. You are well aware of what you are doing. But only in the short term. You see it as a quick easy gain for yourself. You make a quick buck.

But here's the kicker to it all. You may not realize it, but your screwing not only yourself, but your friends, family and co-workers as well. You see, when you decided to steal from us, you just made it harder for everyone around you to come into our store(s). When you steal from us, you drive up our prices. In our failing economy, people are a lot tighter with the little money they have. So when your mother, father, and best friend, go to spend the money they worked so hard to earn, they end up paying more than they have to.

Our company needs to make up for your ignorance. But that's ok. We know just who you are. We've dealt with your kind before. When it comes down to it, we just ban you from shopping at our location. It's not like we lose a paying customer anyways.

So, please, the next time you're in line at a store wondering why the prices are so high, simply thank yourself, and reconsider your actions.

Yours truly,
~Your Local Retail Employee